These past few weeks, I have seemingly randomly developed a fascination with fish.
The thought of owning one, or possibly two or more…and taking on the task of learning all that might be involved in becoming a fish-keeping…
Now if you know much about me on the subjects of taking care of pets as well as taking on any potentially costly and/or time- and energy- consuming hobbies that really don’t seem practical or “necessary,” then you will understand how odd this is for me.
Not because I don’t understand there is value in such pursuits as human beings, because intellectually I do concede to the fact that more people than not throughout history and spanning across cultures seem to find significant meaning and satisfaction in such things. In fact, one theme of my life for these past several years seems to be learning more and more about how important such non-pragmatic aspects of life truly are…
But coming from a place where time & energy always seemed so limited and “not enough,” it has generally been a struggle for me to understand how people “fit” such things in–and why exactly they want to in the first place–on top of all the other responsibilities of life, and the endless possibilities involved in caring for people (i.e. caring for my children and my marriage, caring for family, friends, Church community, etc., and seeking to be and become a better contributing member of society).
So while I can’t quite explain how this random thought entered into my mind, my normal reflex reactions of shutting down such an idea (“no time for that!” and “what am I thinking” and “what if I fail?”) curiously lacked their normal formidable strength and stamina. I am taking this change as a sign of another subtle yet undoubtedly significant shift inside of me — one step further away from no-longer-adaptable mindsets & habits that had been formed out of much more emotionally-taxing seasons…
Beginning my Adventure
Staying true to who I am and how I think, the process of picking out my aquarium and in many ways determining how I will begin this adventure was an adventure in and of itself.
I proceeded to research what choices and decisions lay before me, from visiting the local pet store (conveniently located in the same complex as my girls’ twice-weekly visited Kumon center), to perusing Craigslist (to get a picture of different options and ideas, not to mention the possibility of finding something I like at a discount such as the tank I ended up choosing), both then followed up by lots of Google-searches on unfamiliar terminology and equipment, prep and maintenence how-to’s, and of course on information out there on some of the different types of fish that caught my attention…
It’s actually quite a fascinating world of possibilities and decisions…so much more complex than meets the eye based on what I’d seen before in books (i.e. the goldfish in a bowl in “The Cat in the Hat”), or what I had imagined based on childhood memories of friends winning goldfish in a bag at school fairs and taking them home all in one afternoon, only to have the fish live a day or 2, or a week, or possibly a month… It had always seemed so random or based on luck to me whether or not and how long a fish might survive (turns out a small bowl is actually not a good home for a Goldfish).
While I haven’t decided quite yet what type of fish I will choose in the end, I was able to decide that a tank smaller than 10 gallons would not be big enough for me (and after some deliberating I realized that bigger than 10 gallons would likely be too big of a learning curve for me maintenance-wise). I decided I really like the option of having more than 1 fish (even though I may or may not begin with just 1), and that it’s important to me that each fish would have enough room to swim around comfortably and happily.
As I sought to make this decision, it hit me that the idea of experimenting with potentially building a “community” of fish in an aquarium is actually a very fitting hobby for me at this point in my life, going hand in hand with my mom role in fostering a healthy sense of community among and around my children, as well as with my job responsibilities of seeking to facilitate/administrate “community life” and small groups (of community life) in my Church.
It seems that the “tank keeper”-determined-and-dependent, self-contained underwater-world of aquariums are teeming with canny analogies (and therefore possible insights?) to the complex world of personalities, preferences and social dynamics that shape our relationships as human beings…whether you’re in the position of parenting or care-taking, pastoring, teaching or leading, as well as a member or part of any group where all these aspects of yourself are bound to come into play at some point in your “community” involvement.
3 Fish & Community-building Contemplations
Here are some “Fish & Community-building Contemplations” of mine so far in this aquarium-building journey:
(1) Who fits best in your tank? Or what size tank best fits your fish?
Turns out choosing a tank is inextricably tied to choosing your fish, in terms of selecting which size and type of tank is ideal for the type of fish you want, or vice versa (which type of fish are ideal possibilities for the size and type of tank you want). It needs to be big enough, and ideally also not too big to be overwhelming to maintain (and for certain fishes that apparently can get “lost”). (Think “size” of group gatherings and parties where people are excited and encouraged but not feeling over-crowded, or the ideal size of a small group where one hopes for everyone to feel comfortable yet not pressured to share.)
If you have a certain type of “community” of fish in mind, you need to make sure the size and type of tank is suitable to host all of the fish comfortably (requires some foresight as most fish communities are best built by adding bit by bit rather than all at the same time). (Think family-planning when purchasing a home, or venue decisions for fellowship gatherings in anticipation that new friends could be invited and welcomed to join in.)
One of the first decisions you will need to make after selecting your size is whether or not it will be a fresh versus salt water tank. For example, as I initially tried to think of types of fish I might like looking at in my home, one of the very few types I’m aware of is the super cute clown fish, thanks to “Finding Nemo.” This, and other super colorful fish, requires a salt water tank, which I then found out is not the recommended choice for a novice beginner because it takes the complexity of set-up and maintenance up a significant notch from a fresh water tank. Some environments are going to be more challenging or difficult to maintain, and as such are not the best “practicing” grounds for beginners. (When planning activities or curriculum, you need to know the “level” of your audience, or how to set and lead within expectations that fit you as a parent/leader/teacher/facilitator so it’s doable and enjoyable for all, including yourself.)
Other than that, it seems different fish have different requirements in terms of the water temperature. (Think ideal “atmosphere” you want to create for the people in your life to feel safe and comfortable, yet serious enough and challenged to grow.)
(2) Personality, compatibility, and who best goes together with whom?
After you’ve got the ‘big picture’ of what you hope to see and have the tank in mind to host it, it’s time to pick and choose which fish out of all the ones that fit your tank’s parameters to include. The interesting thing I discovered here is that every fish has pretty particular social traits and preferences, much like people can have distinct personality types and social preferences…and these traits have very significant implications on the likelihood of compatibility versus conflict of various fish in a tank.
For aquarium fish, each seems to be “classified” somehow as being either a (1) Community fish (these seem to be more gentle in nature; some of them do much better when included as a school of of 4-5 fish with companions of their same species); (2) Semi-aggressive, or selectively-aggressive fish (doesn’t necessarily mean they “fight,” but they are active, and may be prone to fight or pick on certain other types of fish); or (3) Aggressive (these you definitely do not want to put these in the same tank with other aggressive fish, or particular fish they almost are certain to attack).
So the complicated social implications are that choosing certain fish can mean that certain other fish options are off the table as a result. (See this website for examples of some different configurations of a 10-gallon tank, based on what kind of fish you want to have, and what other fish or creatures are most compatible with them).
The interesting thing about compatibility, however, is that fish-keepers are warned to expect inevitable trial and error — sometimes you just have to try and see what happens, always making sure to keep a close eye in the initial week or so, because two fish who are supposed to get along may nevertheless not like each other, while there have also been cases where two fish that clearly should not be paired sometimes get along beautifully. For these non-ideal matches, there also seem to be agreed-upon strategies that could work because they have been seen to work for others, such as making sure the community fish get put in the tank and established first so that when the aggressive fish is added in, it is less likely to perceive the other fish as a threat invading its territory. (Like fish, predicting how our relationships will go as people is definitely more of an art than a science — what works on paper doesn’t always pan out in real life as expected.)
Additionally, fish get classified as middle, lower or upper swimmers, and especially if fish are territorial, if their companions swim at a different level and occupy a different space, conflict becomes that much less likely. (Kinda like how we as people differ in terms of areas of gifting and focus, and also where on the organizational chart we most like to be and perform best at. Makes me think of Ephesians 2:11-22, Ephesians 4:11-16 and 1 Corinthians 12-13)
(3) How to set up (and keep up) their environment for greater success through transitions and for longevity?
One of my most encouraging discoveries about caring for fish is that there are well-defined steps and guidelines one can take for proper preparation and maintenance that hugely increase the odds of having healthy, happy fish who survive longer than the couple of days or weeks I was accustomed to witnessing in childhood. Your aquarium and the welfare of your fish really need to be valuable enough to you to justify putting in the necessary effort to do things right, because apparently whether or not a fish survive is not entirely random and based on chance (although there is always an element of that with living things…), but rather doing the non-glamorous work of proper tank preparation and maintenance significantly tips the odds in favor of survival and success.
In this case, good water preparation, and proper monitoring and maintenance of the water, is the key to making your tank a safe, healthy environment for your fish to live longer and thrive. As I’m not quite at that stage yet, I haven’t mastered all the details, but it seems to involve such things like staying within optimal (or at least acceptable) nitrate and pH levels, temperature range, as well as the presence of enough good bacteria.
Beyond having a safe environment where fish are able to survive and be healthy, they also benefit from various things like decorations and plants (both fake vs. real). For example if your fish is more shy, they will appreciate having plants and structures to hide behind. If they are territorial, they will seriously appreciate having a little cave to claim as their own. Fish also seem to enjoy different playtime or recreational antics, whether nipping at certain types of plants or rocks, or weaving through whimsical floaty algae or algae-like decorations…or just having more space and variety to zip around throughout the day.
Much like the thought, effort and “work” that simply cannot be bypassed it takes to maintain a good tank environment, our human relationships (and communities) need proper preparation and maintenance of the “relational environment”, especially at the beginning of a relationship and during the various transitions that may be encountered throughout the relationship, in order to survive long-term and thrive. Above and beyond the necessities, investing in little extras along the way generally prove to be excellent investments in terms of improving the quality of life and relationships. The extras are the pathway to a life that is “to the full” (John 10:10).
Do any of these analogies stick out or ring true to you, or have any of your own that stick out to you? If so, I would love to hear about it in the Comments below. Would love to hear about any of your own aquarium stories, advice, insights, recommended websites etc. as well!