How do you read the “E” for empty on your gas gauge?

I used to think we were supposed to wait until the empty sign lit up before making plans to fill up my gas tank.  In the name of efficiency perhaps?

I also always knew in the back of my mind that when the empty sign first lights up, there is actually quite a bit of gasoline still left in the tank.  So, if I didn’t feel like it was convenient at the time to fill up in favor of cramming in a few more errands, I would wait a while longer. (Note how in the first photo of where my empty sign first lit up, the gas gauge is “above” the “E,” but how the gas gauge is “below” the “E” in the second photo.)

Then when I met my husband, his dad who is a mechanic explained to me that especially for my older car (which I was driving back in those days), it is actually better to try and keep my gas tank filled up at least around half-way at all times, because less oxygen can get in the tank…  I never researched this particular fact, but a light bulb started to come on in my head that it is not necessarily better–in the name of “efficiency”–to wait until the very last minute necessary to fill up my tank, whether it be my car’s gas tank, or my own personal gas tanks, i.e. for water, food, recreation, social time, etc.

I took these particular gas photos sometime last year I think, when I had started thinking more about and paying attention to how I had been handling my own life in ways that left me all too often unnecessarily vulnerable to things like stress and feelings of discouragement and burn-out, but never got around to sharing them.

This past week, I was reminded of them–and this lesson–when I was rushing to drive back and forth from a playdate that ran a bit late to a birthday party, and then realizing I barely had enough time to go pick up my son from his daycare and return before the birthday party ended, all because I had failed to googlemap distances and times the day before so that I could either time things out better myself OR realize the time issue and ask my mother-in-law for help with picking up my son that day of all days (turns out she happened to be home and available that afternoon too!).  I realized all of this as I was rushing from the party to go pick up my son–but it was too late to change things as I was almost at his school.

It was at that moment that I noticed my gas empty sign light up.  And because I was rushing, I didn’t have time to stop for gas either on the way to pick him up, or on the way back across town back to the birthday party.  Luckily, I made it back to the birthday party to pick up my girls (and their friend), and all the way to the gas station on my way home (as I didn’t want to go out of my way for the nearest gas station, or else we would be later getting home for dinner).

What really struck me though was how unaware I had been of the gas gauge until the light came on–that I had been rushing around too much for my own good to not only plan properly, but also to not be paying attention to how much gas was in my tank…

I think this has been true not only of my car, but for my body too…

It has been a pretty crazy first month of my 36th year, with my new Norwex business, trying my best to fit in playdates and other Summer Break activities, writing my biweekly column, teaching my Intro to Christianity classes on Sundays, and also unexpectedly quickly finding our second investment house (possession date is not until November so have a few months before needing to start up my second go at renovations).

I’m happy to say that I am still “happy,” but I am also most definitely in dire need of slowing down my pace a bit…

Thankfully, I finally feel like I have found a landing spot for “rest” this Saturday afternoon after putting my toddler down for a nap and asking my husband and mother-in-law to take care of this week’s Costco run with our two girls.  =)

I have noticed that while it is a neat and helpful ability for us as human beings to push our limits and do more than we normally are capable of doing when times call for it, it is most definitely not a healthy or sustainable plan for the long-term.

These days, perhaps because I have now made it into the second half of my thirties, I seem to feel the physical (and emotional) effects much more potently…and frequently…should I try to continue pushing myself to the neglect of whatever needs my body or mind or emotions may have for rest and moments of quiet.

Even when I have learned to fill my days now more and more with things I want to do versus too many things I just think I should do, there remains an undeniable need for rest and quiet…and for all such basic care needs like staying hydrated, proper eating, exercise…and cleaning around the home, laundry (so there are clean clothes, sheets and towels), and weeding (was shocked to see how after a couple weeks of just not paying attention, my garden was overtaken by these really tall weeds).

I have in my mind a need to establish some type of routine for myself and my kids that somehow comfortably (and responsibly) takes into account all these various basic needs that we have…in a manner that doesn’t suffocate fun and spontaneity out of our schedules, but rather makes it more certain that we will always have sufficient time and energy for our moments of fun and spontaneity… So that at least for me as a mom, I can be more present and in the moment with my family and friends, without having any worries in the back of my mind that any foundational things have been forgotten and/or are potentially falling apart under our feet.

I am still thinking through the particulars of “how”–keeping in mind that just over a week’s time, my family will naturally have more structure built into our schedules with school starting up again (and both girls will be full time school once Olivia’s gradual entry into Kindergarten is complete).

In the meantime, I’m going to try my best to be better rested and then focus on being more present (once I feel better rested hopefully through today) during these last days of summer with the kids…