I am very happy to announce today that I have finally spotted little signs of growth of the grass seeds planted in my backyard =)

Sometimes when I’m wanting something to grow, and the “growing” is taking longer than I had initially hoped, I can start to feel anxious that maybe nothing at all is going to happen…

Like with my grass seeds.  What if I had let them dry out a little bit too long before I realized that just because it had rained the day before didn’t mean my top soil didn’t need watering that day to stay damp, and the seeds had dried out?  What if the weather wasn’t just not optimally warm, but was actually too cold and therefore all my grass seed has actually died?

What if it wasn’t even a good batch of seeds to begin with?  And if that were the case, how could I justify asking Costco for another bag of seeds, because their failure to grow could just have easily resulted from the other factors named above, and any number of other factors I am simply to new and unaware at all this to even know about?

I had decided a couple of days ago if I didn’t see any signs of change soon, my next step of action would be to google search images of what grass growth and early grass seed germination looks like, as I realized I actually don’t really know.  And not really having any good idea of what I’m looking for makes it difficult to evaluate what is happening with my lawn. I can still “look” and make “observations” about what seems to be or not to be happening — which is what I have been doing throughout this week — but at the end of the day, I’m just not really sure what conclusions I can draw with any real certainty or validity, because I just really don’t know what I’m looking for in the first place…

When we are wanting to personally grow in anything, whether it be something physically, or something a bit less tangible like emotionally, spiritually, intellectually or relationally, it can be just as important to have a “picture” of what growth looks like…

Or, rather, we need to have a “picture” of what it would, or could, or might look like, since we as human beings are really much less of an “exact science” when it comes to growth, especially when it comes to the less tangible aspects of our inner selves, as we are as varied and unique as we are numbered (no two people are exactly alike!).

Beyond pictures or images, we need “vision” — an ability to see, to hear, to sense, and to know if we are on the right track and/or growing and moving forward… that goes beyond simply comparing to a chart or timeline or check-list.

Proverbs 29:18 talks about our need as people for vision:

Where there is no vision, the people perish:

but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. (KJV)

 

Where there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint,

but blessed is he who keeps the law. (ESV)

 

Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint;

but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom’s instruction. (NIV)

 

If people can’t see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves;

But when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed. (The Message)

Growing spiritually, which really encompasses emotional and relational growth (important “signs” of spiritual growth, when spiritual growth is defined as growing in a personal relationship with God, are movement towards emotional and relational maturity), requires a vision of the heart of God, of just how deep and wide, unconditional and powerful is the love that God has towards us, how He sees us.  This then empowers us to really understand the heart behind the “rules” He sets for us, the guidelines and boundaries He draws to keep us safe within the pastures of life and relationships where we were designed to flourish.

(The “law” is no longer our enemy, chains to keep us bound, nor is it this impossible standard to shame us or constantly remind us how we fail to measure up.  Instead, it is a vision of a very possible “destination” of growth and maturity — and Blessedness which really is a true, deep lasting Happy-ness —  that God would help us to, that He would lead us and simultaneously empower us to grow towards, one step at a time.  It is a picture of “promise” – of what He has made possible for us to one day reach and live for eternity in Heaven, and which, as we learn to walk more and more hand-in-hand with Him each day, He is leading us ever closer to for the remainder of our days on earth.)

I believe that because growth is a process, especially in things where we are starting from the very, very beginning (i.e. grass seeds versus sod), we often need more than just the final “destination” picture. We need vision that encompasses pictures along the way, pictures of the various stages that must first “happen” step by step, before the final picture ever begins to emerge.

In the precarious first stages, we may often need a little bit more hand-holding—reassurance that this endeavor is worth investing in, worth the anxiety of taking on new risks, challenges and responsibilities.  Throughout the journey, we need constant reminders and encouragement as companions, to be able to stay the course, to not give up, to fight through any and all stages of discouragement, especially when the hard work of  “growth” actually can look and feel very much like “nothing” or even “setbacks.”

Whenever I want to grow in something new, whether it be mastering a new skill, beginning a new project, overcoming a fear or insecurity, or navigating the growth and deepening of relationships, I feel like God is always reminding me to first and foremost stay close to Him.

I need to remember I am loved and secure and safe in Him, that my life and my dreams are worth investing in, worth the inconvenience and discomfort that are inherent in taking first steps in anything worthwhile.

And then I need to stay close to God because I need new vision from Him for each and every step of the way.  Or at least that’s how I’ve learned to want to do things, because if God’s presence and help is there for the taking (as promised to me through the work Christ accomplished on the Cross), why ever choose to go it alone?

I like to ask God, what should I do now? And whenever I have taken a step on to unfamiliar territory, I like to stop and ask God, okay, now what should I be looking for to happen? How do I understand if what I have done or am doing is working, or if what I am doing needs tweaking, correction, or complete un-doing and then re-doing? What should I be checking? Or what should I even be asking?

Whenever I get carried away with over-worrying or over-analyzing — which can happen a lot with me — I try to remember to ask God for help to re-gain perspective, to loosen my grasp a bit, to step back, breathe and marvel at this opportunity I get to have to try something new that will have no bearing on my personal value and worth, because God has already called me “good enough” to be His beloved.  God has never failed to show up, to hold my hand and re-direct my attention, to help me wait when it’s time to wait and to trust that He will take care of His part, to bring forth the growth in His perfect timing, and/or to take care of me and of all things if it happens to not be in His will for something to happen as I had thought or imagined.