“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10, NIV)
Here is my much belated “Hello” for 2016…”HELLO!”
Life has been very go-go-go! for an extended season into the first couple months of this year, starting with adjusting to full-time work status on January 1st, and settling into a new season for my life, my family, and my Church community.
So many changes = lots of “shifting” mentally and emotionally (and physically!) for me, so I felt it best to give myself permission to focus everything in me on making the transition as smooth as possible for myself and my family…but as it is now Month #3 in, it seems time to make a different kind of “shift” into a stronger and steadier gear, proper and fit for longer-distance travel.
Now, as I reflect on where things are, how things have and are continuing to fall into place, I am both humbled by and so grateful for life and the people God has surrounded me with, and for the opportunities He guides me to, provides open doors for, and then supplies what I need to meet each day’s challenges… I am increasingly learning to trust Him (and consequently my husband, and my community…)…and increasingly empowered to embrace–even enjoy!–life, and the fullness that it can entail… Oh how far this is from the depression and the “just trying to wait it out as best as I can” that colored so much of my previous years!
At the Lumber Mill
Somehow amidst the busyness last month, I managed to be a parent driver/helper for my 3rd grade daughter’s field trip to a nearby lumber mill (they were short on drivers and the trip was at risk of being cancelled…and it thankfully worked out).
Being there, observing the process of all these pieces of wood at various stages of their being handled, evaluated, cut, and shuffled this way versus that, was strangely therapeutic. Due the LOUDness of the process, we were all given earphones to block out the noise of the machinery, but the effect was to make the tour non-ideal for conversation and therefore more conducive to quiet reflection.
I wondered at the process that wood goes through, to become wood that is “useful” in the sense that we humans utilize wood in society-type-things besides all the wonderful environmental and aesthetic contributions they provide when left in their natural state. Trees don’t need to be cut down and processed in order to be of value, because they are created inherently with value when left alone. However, trees become the source of a tremendous variety of usefulness — so many different possibilities — when they are selectively cut down… The numerous ways in which wood can be a blessing to people, for shelter, for a place to sit, for a table to gather at…are endless!
The process of getting to that place of blessing, however, is a bit daunting to me, starting with the immense size of the trees that are first felled into logs. There is something about the potential of trees to reach a certain size, and how sad it would/could be if the tree were prematurely cut down (unless by divine providence, in faith, it is actually best cut down at a particular age for a particular reason? does age affect properties of the wood that make it more or less suitable for different purposes?).
And then the process of these large trees to have to be cut down to size outside of the plant before they can even be of a reasonable size to enter into the inside machinery, so that they can then be stripped of all protective bark…so that they can then be evaluated by the head operator for trimming and then cutting down into all the most useful pieces that could be cut out of each one of them, as determined by his or her expertise… From that point there is no returning ever to its original state, no cut that can then be undone. And then each individual piece is sent off to its own further selecting and refining… What will remain, what will get cut. And of all that gets cut, how may it still be processed so that each bit of wood is used to its most fullest and ideal potential.
At the mill itself, each piece of wood finds its “final” destination somewhere in a neatly stacked and labeled bundle alongside its like-minded pieces, for that is how it will become most useful outside of the mill… Its actual destination or purpose(s), after all this commotion and processing, isn’t the bundle itself…but it, along with its bundle, is only now prepared for whatever final destination or purpose it will hopefully one day soon find itself launched into.
It seems to me that it doesn’t matter so much what it is one day launched out to become, what purpose it one day becomes used for — but that how sad it would be if it is never launched out at all, because then we would have sacrificed the original tree, and subjected the tree to all that stripping and cutting and sorting and handling, for no reason whatsoever, really…
A Year of Polishing…hopefully for Increased Impact
It’s not exactly a perfect analogy, but I do feel like this field trip gave me lots to reflect upon in terms of describing what my life feels a bit like this year (well, these past several years…) — only not as a passive log at the mercy of any sawmill operator or by order of a builder or craftsman, but as a willing participant, realizing now that my worth as a created human being was never (and never shall be) in question by the Creator who breathed me into existence, and yet there is perhaps some more usefulness I may be of to Him and for Him in society, if I entrust my self and my life into His Most Expert and Capable Direction & Hands.
My prayer this year is to not shrink back from much learning and being stretched and saying yes again and again to growing and refining, cutting and shaping, that I may be made ever-increasingly fit for the good purposes I may yet become fit for, which He has prepared in advance for me –alongside my family and my community– for us to do.
Practically, what this has looked like is taking the time to reiterate and add more resound to a resounding “Yes!” to my work, by employment as well as otherwise, to giving serious consideration to what I may have to offer, and setting my mind and will to carry out whatever I determine and commit myself to do this year to the best of my ability.
To take more seriously this unexpected “dream career” that seems to somehow have made its way into my life even as I had resolved to be ready to give it up for family life (yes, somehow it seems it could work out and could be a permanent arrangement!), I have changed my voicemail message, and accepted a youth camp speaking engagement in the summer.
And to take my work on this vision I have for this website, I have also finally taken that big step of changing the look of my website to a theme I selected more than two years ago (I can’t count how many times I pressed, “view live demo” for this particular theme but never had the guts to “save”). During the last couple of weeks, I also managed to write up some introductory thoughts for the various categories and pages I want to be including on my website (yes, much greater refinement is needed still, but no more procrastinating on getting things started to the point that I can and must because it is what has already been on my mind for so long).
I so greatly appreciate all of your support in my life, and in taking the time to read my developing thoughts and voice, helping me along in the process of developing and refining what it is that could be of use to say… If one day there is any fruit from all of this, know that each of you plays such a significant part, so thank you!
Current Daily Devotional Reading:
“My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers
Listening to “Awakening” by Chris Tomlin: