The lovely Rachel Tan and the her pink lipstick–one of my favorite lipstick looks of the year =)
Here is my lipstick shade search story which I embarked on at the start of this year, and which I will now explain how this has to do with a deeper breakthrough for me than simply a typical make-up shopping type of adventure.
Generally I am pretty secure regarding my looks and my “image,” especially since my life and well-being have never been particularly dependent upon my physical looks. I don’t really have anything riding on the line, i.e. I’m not a model or an actress, and I’ve just never run in social circles where there can be a sometimes unhealthy amount of pressure to look a certain part or meet a certain standard (if anything, my “line of work” has sometimes made me feel like it’s actually better/safer to err towards the other end of the spectrum as in don’t want to look like I spend too much time/$/effort on my looks…).
However, as someone who likes to be constantly pushing myself to grow, and as part of my journey the last couple of years to be valuing and then discovering and exercising my “voice” online (and offline…), as I finally found myself experimenting with writing again, and then for the first time with trying to take “selfies” and play around with my iphone video feature and Youtube (I know I’m a bit late to the game), I have been facing off with what insecurities are there and making efforts to push through those insecurities so they cannot remain as hindrances to my personal growth and journey.
The “Search for Signatures” is a Process: Fearlessly Free to Experiment
What I’ve realized is my insecurity when it comes to my “image” or my “looks” is the lack of confidence in having a look…or in feeling like I have this, whatever it is and involves, figured out.
Because I never really gave myself permission to freely think too much about my image, I just don’t know at the end of the day what my look is, and so when it comes time to needing to go shopping for something, or to get my haircut, there is a part of me that feels incredibly inadequate, and insecure, about the whole process.
If I don’t quite know what I’m looking for, and I come across a pushy sales person with strong opinions that may or may not be compatible with mine, will I be equipped with the language to articulate enough what I am wanting or not wanting to be able to direct that sales person to be helpful to me rather than intimidating and making me feel small and causing me to be worried about wasting her/his time? And if I’m getting my haircut, will I be able to communicate what I want and don’t want, or even have a good idea of how to evaluate the end result so that I can say, ‘YES, I like it,” or “hm, it’s okay, but maybe next time I would prefer you to do this instead,” and be able to walk away confident that it was money well spent and a tip well deserved (or that at least progress has been made towards that being my next experience)?
I have this ideal in my head that one day, besides the every once in awhile impromptu purchase cause I happened to spot something “new” that I just really really liked, that all of my shopping, and make-up-ing, and hair-do-ing, will all be pretty much automatic. I’ll know where I go and when and for what, and if I happen to be busy by then (one day) with other things, I can easily make a list and send my husband or Amee off to the store to go grab my groceries, and my jeans (and other clothes and shoes), and my make-up as things run out or get worn out etc, or I can have someone call to schedule me in this place with that person for my haircuts (and actually go get my hair done more than once a year). Some items that a guy could relate to (not that make-up and hair and clothes and image are non-concerns as far as I can tell?) could be things like the brand of electronics I default to (i.e. I’m sticking with my iPhone for the meantime…), or default athletic wear (I’m pretty sure my husband pretty much only ever tries on and buys Nike basketball shoes)?
But to get to that place, I feel like I just need to have a better idea of what is out there, and what I like and don’t like, what works and doesn’t work. And this will take some time, and a willingness to go out there and take a look around, and be unafraid to experiment.
And one of the big places for me to start that happens to be on my mind and heart right now seems to be finding a couple of lipstick colors (and brands, and types…) over the course of the year that I can call my own “signature” colors, inspired by a friend named Rachel at my church whom I often saw wearing a particular shade of pink lipstick last year that just always caught my attention and made me think, that is an awesome perfect-shade-of-pink color on her (see photo above =), posted with her permission!)
Going Bright?
For me, looking for a bright, bold lip color — specifically a pink that pops! — is significant because just as I generally default to basic non-stand-out colors like black, dark blue and grey in my clothing choices, I found that my lipstick collection tends to default to colors that really also don’t stand out and often after not-too-long I will look like I don’t have any lipstick on at all (and the few times in the past where I “tried” more stand-out colors, I was so timid about the process of testing and actually looking at myself before choosing that I always ended up regretting and a bit embarrassed by my choices).
Partly this was because I just always thought that it is particularly difficult to match any kind of bright color to my complexion, as my mom used to tell me and her friends when I was growing up that because my complexion was darker or something like that, I just don’t look good in colors like pink or red. And perhaps also because somewhere along the line I started believing that bright colors just might not be suited to my perceived personality, so it’s just safer sometimes to not try, since spending time trying what I’m simply not suited for would just be a waste of time, energy and money.
But then there is this one bright pink shirt (a darker-ish raspberry shade?) that I lucked out on finding last year that is definitely a stand-out pink color, but it seems to match my complexion–and even my personality–perfectly… And that started me thinking in the back of my head that maybe I can pull off pink, and a stand-out pink at that, after all. That it might take some searching, and some soul-searching and -challenging so that I can be more confident and productive in my searching, but there is hope for me in this and it can be done.
My “Flawed” Lips
There is also the issue of this being a search for a bold color for my lips, perhaps my biggest area of insecurity when it comes to my looks because of this bump I acquired from a bike accident back in Kindergarten. One accident all the way back then, and the bump from the scar forever after has made and will make my lips uneven. Really it’s not that bad and it’s not that noticeable especially in person, and especially if/when I’m smiling…but every passport photo session (or any other standardized mug shot session where I am supposed to be straight-faced and have my lips together, no teeth showing) reminds me that it is most definitely still there, and it shows up on camera…so my attitude before was that it’s just best not to draw attention to my “flaw.”
I actually spent a week or so last year praying about this “flaw” on my lip, thinking it would be such a cool (and noticeable, and documentable by my passport photos!) miracle if for some reason God chose to heal it and make it disappear… and why not because I have nothing to lose to at least ask, and begin a dialogue with God about it. At the end of that week, I grew confident that either God would heal it (as I had no doubt that He could), but more likely that God actually wanted to heal my heart regarding it, since it’s always been my understanding that it’s our hearts (the seat of our souls?) ultimately that He cares about and works at restoring above all else… So, I began understanding and believing (and am now perhaps acting upon?) God’s plan to one day make it so this “flaw” of mine would no longer bother me or hinder me or hold me back in any way.
Messaging Rachel
And so I messaged Rachel as a potential resource to kick-start my own search process:
Me: Hi Rachel, this is Angela from New Joy. I was wondering if you could tell me the brand and name of your signature pink lipstick? It’s my absolute favorite (on you) of all lipsticks that have stood out to me this year. Also wondering if you’re okay if I post in my blog.
Rachel: Morning Angela! Of course! It’s Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter. The colour is Raspberry Pie. It’s my go to every day fave. Looking forward to reading your post
Me: Thanks Rachel! Do you mind sharing with me how you found “your” go to lip color?
Rachel: I found my lip colour through trial and error. I was always on the hunt for an every day pink/red colour that would brighten my face, as well as a lipstick that was hydrating. I had tried a lot of the lipsticks before then and the biggest problem I had with them is that they seemed to dry out my lips. I heard about Revlon Colourbust Lip Butter when it first came out and I remember seeing ads that claimed that it was hydrating. I naturally gravitate towards more pinks and when I saw the array of colours they had, I knew I had to try them! I tried lighter shades at first and realized I wanted something more noticeable. Before finding my colour, I was already really impressed because it was half lipstick half lip balm. After finding the colour Raspberry Pie, I noticed that I could layer it if wanted it deeper pink, or just dab it on if I wanted my lips to be stained. Because i’m pale for most of the year, the pop of colour really stands out. Now I wear it all year round.
My First Steps
After messaging Rachel, I proceeded to Google search “Revlon Colourburst Lip Butter” to find out what other people were saying about it, and discovered a vast sea of information and blogs and make-up review sites and Youtube videos all on this one lip product…mostly people confirming her findings that this was indeed hydrating, and also that people tended to find the colors that stand out were more worthwhile than the lighter shades. On my next few trips to Superstore and Walmart for groceries, I made stops at the make-up aisles to check out and try on the tester colors (this was a slightly frustrating and inefficient process because different stores had different tester colors in stock to try and compare), and then at home would re-google reviews and look at images of different colors.
It seemed that Rachel’s color didn’t look quite right on me (not the same way it looks perfect on her), but I was still very excited to have found a good, recommended drugstore brand that I could comfortably wear and afford to experiment with. Initially I chose two colors to try out, and eventually went back for a few other brighter colors, after I discovered Walmart was selling them in-store for $5 at the time*, half the cost of Superstore’s $10 (even though Superstore was cheaper than all the other local drugstores). (For those of you who might be curious, my final color selections were: Berry Smoothie, Lollipop, and Sweet Tart for pinks, and then also Red Velvet and Cherry Tart to begin experimenting with reds as well).
As mentioned above regarding the bump on my lip, I don’t really see myself becoming a make-up blogger and wanting to post photos of me wearing the various colors — but I now realize how super useful all these beauty blogs and review sites (especially those with photos of not only swatches but also showing the various ladies modelling the shades) can be…. so I will end with a few sites I found useful to show off this particular product, as well as a collection of top Youtube Makeup artists another good friend of mine (who just realized she follows over 200 different Youtube Makeup artists!) sent me as a reference when she found out about this new adventure of mine.
*CORRECTION: Unfortunately on my quick run to Walmart tonight (Friday, Jan. 23rd) to pick up a Redbox movie and my 3 magazines I like to buy at their 3 for $10 special, I discovered that our local Walmart (in Canada) has increased their Revlon Lip Butter Prices to $8.46 — still not bad compared to other stores, but I do see Revlon makeup on sale quite often elsewhere as well, so…just wanted to keep everyone informed.
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Websites featuring Revlon Lip Butter swatches:
From Head to Toe: Revlon Lip Butters Review & Swatches (features Cherry Tart, Berry Smoothie, Lollipop, Tutti Frutti, Sweet Tart, Cotton Candy, and Peach Parfait)
The Magnificent Makeup of Michty Maxx: Review Revlon ColorBurst Lip Butter (12 colours) (features all 12 colours)
College Fashion Product Review: Revlon Color Burst Lip Butters (No swatches, but I like how she “describes” each of the colors)
For Smart Chicks: Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter Swatches & Review! (features Cupcake, Creamsicle, Tuttifrutti, Strawberry Shortcake, Sweet Tart, Cherry Tart, Candy Apple, Berry Smoothie)
This Lipstick Life: Revlon Colourburst Lip Butter (features Lollipop, Sweet Tart, and Tutti Frutti)
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Elsie Woo’s Top Youtube Makeup Artists Recommendations (“My fav that are the most informative with detailed tutorials”):