These past few weeks, as I have been letting go a bit of “discipline” and not trying to accomplish all the “shoulds” on my task list before making time to rest when I’m tired or to do things that I simply am wanting to do whether or not they seem like the most constructive or responsible use of my time, I am realizing that one thing I really value and need in my life is dialogue.

One of my closest friends suggested to me that maybe I should make my Blog more of a Q&A format, which really affirmed to me something I want and envisioned for this site.  Her suggestion came after posing a theological question over whatsapp that she had been wrestling with for a while, and in response, it was surprisingly easy and very natural for me to write out an answer/explanation (drawing on my personal understanding and all that time I spent in seminary studies many years ago).

If, however, I had tried writing a blog entry on this question in a vacuum — i.e. if I brainstormed a list of random or even systematic theology questions to write short essays on — it would have been a much more arduous task for me, that likely would have dragged on due to writer’s block or simply not being able to consistently muster of the motivation needed to set aside time to write.

Honestly, this is what has happened to the last 5 or so (and counting…) attempts I have made to start entries for this blog… I think there is a part of me that wants or needs to know there is a reason for writing something — that there is a question or need to actually be responded to and addressed — for me to feel like something is worth the time and effort to write.  Or to have the confidence or sense of direction I need in terms of judging how much to write or how much detail I need to be sure to include or not.  Also, to know if I said something clear enough to be understood, or instead have just added another piece of information out there in the endless pieces out there that crowds people’s brain spaces without actually contributing to any real good.

When I was a student, I thrived on the pressure of meeting deadlines for assignments requiring me to write a paper, because regardless of the topic, it had been requested by the professor to complete.  When I was a youth director in a Church, I enjoyed having youth meetings and services to plan out and prep lessons and talks for, and could get lost in my preparations and writing outlines and creating worksheets etc. (“lost” in that everything just flows out naturally, not feeling so forced or like pulling teeth), especially when I knew the topic to be taught on came out of an actual question or issue my youth were personally wrestling with.

There is something in my experience of dialogue that is intangible yet very powerful that seems to physically draw stuff out of me, even as it inadvertently affirms to me the value and worth of whatever is being called upon and drawn out — that for one reason or another, it actually matters to someone else out there.

While it isn’t necessary or even a desire of everyone to be writing a blog or assignment or book or weekly lesson or sermon, etc., I believe the power of dialogue is equally important and significant in value for all people, simply because we are human beings.  I believe that we, created and treasured by an inherently relational Three-in-One God, are inherently wired to require relationships and community where we are continually drawn out and drawing stuff out from one another in dialogue (both verbally and non-verbally), in order to be fully who we are meant to be — to be whole, and complete, and knowing and living out our purpose here on earth.

Dialogue Draws out our Hearts

I believe that dialogue (good and bad) is a vehicle for making our Hearts known, by others and even to a large extent by ourselves. While there can be a time and place for quiet reflection and introspection (although even these times are most productive when done in the context of dialoguing with our ever-loving, ever-present God in what most Churches call “quiet time”) , it is in dialogue that I find myself truly understanding what I feel about things and what I really want, as I engage in the process of thinking through and putting words and voice to things I say.  Sometimes what ends up coming out isn’t what I really want to be thinking or want others to hear (slips of the tongue), but even for these things, in the process of dialogue there is opportunity to correct myself, to change my mind by acknowledging a need to change my mind and making that stance public/official by saying so.

Dialogue Holds Power to Heal

Dialogue in the context of safe, trustworthy and loving relationships, carries with it the power to heal wounds in our hearts, insofar as those hurts feel safe enough to find a voice and can be spoken out.  When we can name and identify and speak out our hurts, the elusive power our hurts can inevitably hold over us when they remain hidden (i.e. repressed anger that explodes out of nowhere) is immediately derailed, like pulling aside the curtain that hid the regular-sized man behind the big voice and intimidating show put on by the Wizard of Oz.  When we can “name” our hurts and our struggles, we become positionally masters of them rather than victims who are being mastered by them…When shame and fear of being exposed are no longer allowed to keep these senstitive, “hidden” parts of our lives locked away in a dark room, the possibility of letting in light and taking a good hard look (together with the person or people we can trust) makes it just a matter of time before we can see what is going on and figure out what we need to clean things up.

I realize I am over-simplifying the whole “process” of figuring out what we need to do and then actually being able to do what we need to do — this is definitely a case of much easier said than done. But, I say this with full confidence based on the fact that I believe (and have personally experienced this time and time again) that we proceed in all of this “clean-up stuff” not on our own, but with a God who loves us and cares for us deeply, to whom we have full access because of Jesus’ work on the Cross, and for whom nothing is impossible (even if it really may be impossible without Him).

Besides the service of drawing out hidden, inner stuff out so that it can be addressed, straight up dialogue also carries with it all the power to heal and encourage (or to wound and destroy) that the Proverbs and various other Scriptures teach on the significance of the tongue and our spoken words. Words of comfort and of encouragement, when spoken sincerely and truthfully, are life-giving in ways that money cannot buy.  Words of wise advice and even correction, when spoken with love and gentleness that open our hearts to be able to receive them, can change the course of our lives when they steer us away from destruction or distractions towards fulfilling our destinies.

The Ultimate Dialogue

As a final thought, I believe that most important and most powerful Dialogue of all that we can have — and for which we were created to require to be most whole and complete — is that with God our Creator.  This is one of the awesome privileges and met needs made available to us as a result of Jesus Christ’s work on the Cross, because in paying the cost needed to redeem us once and for all, Jesus has made it possible for all humanity to now receive restored relationship with God, who alone is perfect in love — perfectly omnipresent (always and constantly there), omniscient (always knowing and understanding our hearts), and omnipotent (always able to love and heal and empower us). Because of the Cross, the curtain has been torn once and for all, and through Jesus,

With the restoration of our relationship with God as His beloved sons and daughters, we now have the ability to freely go to Him, anytime, anywhere, approaching Him confidently and calling Him “Daddy” (“Abba, Father” in Romans 8:14-16).  We have been gifted the ability to sit in God’s presence, and to communicate with Him, both sharing our thoughts and our hearts, our dreams and our fears, in the most safe relationship (His love and wisdom alone are always perfect), and learning how to listen and hear His voice speak back to us as well.  Engaging in this most powerful dialogue makes us supernaturally whole and calls us forth into our Heaven-assigned destinies!